Does a crazy person know they're crazy?

2010-11-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't blogged in like... years? Yeah, years, I think. And I'm in the middle of school and I probably shouldn't be blogging right now, but I guess I just don't care... We're doing a fishbowl, it doesn't matter. :|
So, my grandpa died. It's been really tough on me, you know... I've known him my whole life. He passed away, in like, September, and I don't see why I should still feel like this.
But I do.
And so I don't know what to say. I have a bunch of work missing in school, I have a bunch of C's (thankfully I'm not failing anything.), and I just have problems with motivating myself to do any work. I keep up with my regular school work, but everything I'm doing right now is so tough... I don't get what I'm supposed to do with myself. Ever since he passed away (due to complications with Leukemia) I've been just... upset. I've pushed all of my thoughts of him to the back of my mind, but I keep thinking about him.
I don't know.
Grief sucks. Grieving sucks. I hate it, I hate having to deal with this at my age. I'm 16, goddamn. (Seventeen on the 23rd.)
/sigh

Crack crack crack the egg into the bowl!

2008-10-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

I LOVE PARAPPA!
It's seriously the best game of the nineties, bar none. The creativity of the game is just wonderful, and despite the lack of stages it takes forever to master them. I happen to enjoy this song a lot, but Cooking With Cheap Cheap is the one I remember the most from my childhood.
My whole family used to watch Dad play this game, and that was super fun! :D

Anyways, just wanted to share a bit of my childhood with you guys. Maybe you'll be able to see what shaped me today? Ehh? Hmm?

XD I'm laaame.

In the beginning, there was Clam. And Clam was awesome.

2008-10-23T18:12:00.000-07:00

Hello all.

My name is Katie, I'm fourteen, but I'll be fifteen in November. (Nyaaa, I can't wait!) My nickname is Clam so... yeah. There's that.

I love writing. I don't know, maybe I'll post some of that sometimes.

First of all, let me tell you that I'm a teenager. And as a teenager, I am prone to mood swings, anger, angst, EXTREEEEEME happiness, and all that sort of stuff.

I know I am a teenager due to two things.

I am fourteen. The word teen is in my age.
A very wonderful book called The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie, by Jaclyn Moriarty. <3>

A) "Teenagers get caught up in their own heads. I don't want to offend you guys, but teenagers think about themselves a lot. They obsess about what they look like, what people think of them, what the point of life is. So number one, too much introspection."
Yep. Who am I to deny this? I think about myself, how I look, what people think of me, how stupid I look at this moment, if people think I'm a dork, if I even care, on and on until I get sick of it.
B) "Now, number two, the teenager needs excitement- It's a reaction, I guess, to the realization that life is boring. In childhood, life is fresh and exciting, but then you start to see that the grown-up world is is boring. So you look for hysteria and drama. You scream at concerts, you shriek when you see each other, you ride on roller coasters, you get into alcohol and drugs. All year I've been hearing you guys use words like conspiracy, compulsion, pathology- you get post traumatic stress from exams; you're always running from the cops. I mean, you guys are just desperate for excitement. You're looking for extremes. You're looking for a climax."
Ah, I deal with drama and anti-climax every day. And the grown up world seems so... so uniform, so boring. I hate the grown up world. I'm afraid of being one, which is rather childish of me. But yes. I m a teenager due to these aspects too.
C) "And finally, teenagers lose their sense of perspective. They're stuck between adulthood and childhood, so they don't know whether they're up or down. One day they're dressing up to look old and get into a bar; next day they're putting on their cute child's voice to get the child's fare on the bus. It's like they're in an elevator all the time, so they can't judge where they are."
Yup. We all have problems with belonging, because we're so stuck in between. We're everywhere at all times. Our parents have to control us, because we're not old enough to control ourselves, but we think we are! We're stuck. Our only solace is to be both. We need a sense of belonging, every human does, but teenagers have the hardest times with this.

What we've learned from this experience:

Teenagers are crazy.
I am crazy.
My friends are crazy.
And chances are, if you're reading this, you're crazy too.

I hope you've learned something.

Now, onto me.

I am:
Happy-go-lucky, a singer, a born drama kid, a lover of comics, a fat chick (if that offends you, leave. It may hurt a little when I think about it, but I'm working on it. Trust me.), fun loving, ever single, and, in my humble opinion, pretty awesome. Ah, way to be full of yourself, Katie. XD

I am not:
A bitch, a whore, anorexic (just because I'm fat doesn't mean I'll resort to those extremes to lose weight. Yaaay, being healthy!), a slob, an idiot, etc, etc.

So yes, this is my blog.
(What a roundabout way to say something so small.)

I do hope you'll enjoy, and on that note, I leave you with this:

All quotes are taken from The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie by Jaclyn Moriarty, I don't own this book, but I do own a copy. This is a fabulous book by the way, feel free to read it.

The Philosophical Musings of Me

Does a crazy person know they're crazy?

Crack crack crack the egg into the bowl!

In the beginning, there was Clam. And Clam was awesome.